The Life and Times of Marlene McKinnon
by An-Jelly-Ca
Summary: 25 things you never knew about Marlene McKinnon. Companion piece to the Life and Times of James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew, Lily Evans Potter, Minerva McGonnagall, Harry Potter, and Ron Weasley. Implied Sirius x Marlene. R&R!


**A/N Now that it is summer vacation it is time for the continuation of the Life and Times Series. Therefore I bring you: The Life and Times of Marlene McKinnon.**

**Thanks to All Reviewers!**

**Dedication: to do i need a pen name who shares my love for Marlene.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except for Marlene's family whom do i need a pen name and I have made up.**

1. She is the only girl in a family of five brothers, consequently she spends a lot of time constructing elaborate schemes to distract her brothers while she sneaks out on dates.

2. Her hair is an uncontrollable curly mess, consistently defying even the most strong Wizarding Hair Care products. She once dumped an entire bottle of Flemington's Best Hair Straightening Potion on her head, it turned gloriously straight for a full five minutes before exploding into a pile of tumultuous curls again. Sirius laughed at her.

3. ...She hexed all his hair off. He cried. She laughed.

4. When Marlene was little her grandma taught her how to cook. She resisted the effort, protesting it on the grounds that her grandma never tried to teach her brothers, and viewing it as part of a sexist mentality. She learns anyway, and she ends up grateful for it, because baking becomes her comfort whenever she gets upset.

5. ...She really wishes that her brothers would stop flinching whenever she has a knife. She only stabbed Milo that one time, and the healers reattached his finger in the end. They're just big babies.

6. Marlene is anything but a morning person, throughout her years at Hogwarts she could often be seen asleep at the breakfast table. Sirius and James seemed to view this as draw on Marlene with Magic Markers time. She. Is. Not. Amused.

7. She is extremely clumsy, she once tripped over her wand, tumbled into a somersault and collided with a suit of armor, which collided with another suit of armor, and another, and another, and another...

8. Her first best friend was her grandpa, he taught her how to play Quidditch, told her that thunderstorms were just God having a party, snuck her out of lessons, and always took her side.

9. ...He's killed by death eaters during her seventh year. She never quite manages to forgive him for leaving her (1).

10. She was never all that good at potions. Probably because she was more interested in trying to make the largest possible explosion than actually accomplishing whatever Slughorn wanted her to do.

11. She was a beater on the Gryffindor team (the other one being Sirius), and the first time she played in a Hogwarts Match it was against Slytherin, the captain laughed and said he doubted someone her size could even lift the bat.

12. ...He wasn't laughing after she hit him in the stomach with a bludger going fifty kilometers per hour. And, even though her mum told her countless times that gloating is bad sportsmanship, she couldn't help saying to the Slytherin captain (who happens to be one of the other team's beaters): "I'm surprised someone that weak can even lift the beater's bat."

13. She realizes that she loves Sirius when she's sixteen.

14. Her favorite subject is Care of Magical Creatures. Marlene and Professor Kettleburn are two of a kind; he shares her love of loud noises, pumpkin juice, and unleashing nifflers on unsuspecting, shiny-looking first years.

15. It's a little known fact that Sirius, James, Peter, and Rita Skeeter were not the only Hogwarts students to become illegal Animagi. Marlene can turn into a lovely orange fox.

16. She sometimes thinks that her parents are a little too obsessed with alliteration.

17. ...And with siblings named Malcolm, Milo, Marcas, Merric, and Maxwell McKinnon who can really blame her? (2)

18. The night before the championship Quidditch match during seventh year, James locked her in a padded room to ensure she couldn't injure herself, which she resents because she is not that clumsy, and just because she has been in the hospital wing a record two hundred and thirty four times in her Hogwarts career does not mean that she is a danger to herself. And, yes, she did hear what she just said. And, no, she does not think that her logic is a better argument for James' actions than against them.

19. One night during fifth year, after consuming several cups of contraband coffee (which she smuggles in under Remus' nose), she steals the left shoes of every occupant of the castle.

20. She speaks seven languages: English, Gaelic, Latin, Greek, French, Italian, and Portuguese.

21. During fourth year shortly after Sirius returns to winter break looking utterly miserable with a taciturn attitude and a assortment of unexplained bruises, Marlene sends his parents an anonymous letter carrying a quite lovely jinx that causes any curse they cast to be turned back around on them for a full six months. She never admits to doing this, but she still smiles when Sirius thanks her for it.

22. She loathes Herbology, ever since she got a black eye from a bouncing bulb during third year.

23. Marlene always got along well with Hagrid, they shared a mutual love of magical creatures. She could often be found in his hut chatting about various occurrences and often times cooking for him, as his own cooking left much to be desired. Not that she ever told him that. Instead, she said that she loved to cook and seldom got to do it while she was at school, since she had no kitchen to do it in. Which was technically true.

24. The night of the McKinnon Massacre she had been planning to tell Sirius that she was pregnant.

25. ...She never got the chance.

**A/N Woot, I love Marlene. :)**

**(1) For more on Marlene and her Grandpa read my story Amorevolous. Seriously do so, I only have one review, which depresses me, immensly.**

**(2) For more on Marlene's brothers and just general MWPP era awesomeness check out the stories co-authored by do i need a pen name and I under the pen name "SiRiUsLyPiNkAnDgReEn."**


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